Update

The last I heard of my mom was that she's in a woman's shelter. I hope the best, that she will be open to help and not return to said abusive relationship.  But I remain skeptical how long it will last.

The best cure for autism

I work at the Mall of America. Ever so often I come to work to find people involved in various autism walks throughout the year.

I read their shirts and messages.  One was "beating autism one peace at a time."  Another was "I am a teacher to someone with autism and I have autism too."

Somehow that got me into thinking questions I would answer if someone were to interview me. For the most part people could argue that I've been cured. I don't appear autistic. No one would really guess, besides say a few awkward moments,  or people living with me.  No I haven't been cured. I still have autism, but I've found ways to adapt.

So what is the best cure to autism?

Self awareness.
Why?

If one can become aware of limitations and triggers, then they can take steps to reduce it. Even head off meltdowns before they get to crisis.

But self awareness isn't something that can be taught. It's a process.  It starts with learning how to communicate.

Communication is another "enemy" to autism.  If one can communicate what they are thinking, it eases a lot of stress.  Trying to keep everything inside one's head is tiring to say the least.

Anyways these were a few thoughts. It's a bit of an over simplification. For those with the more severe forms, getting here may be really difficult, but it is my hope that some day everyone with autism will be able to communicate.

Jungle Gremlins of Java

Years ago my mother was encouraging me to watch videos of Slow lorises being tickled. She wanted me to look up photos. She wanted me to see just how cute they were. To me the video looked like either the poor thing was being stupidly cute or something had to be wrong with it. Neither got me excited. I couldn't share my mother's joy.

Watching this video has changed my opinion of them.
Slow Lorises aren't just stupidly cute fuzzballs, begging to be tickled and cuddled. They are carnivorous, can eat things larger than them. They are active only at night. Their mouth and armpits contain toxic venom. This venom makes wounds that fester and won't heal. They are fast moving animals that cover a lot of ground in a single night. They scare away bears and kill leeches.

Now that's an animal I can enjoy.

It is sad just how the pet trade is driving this amazing animal to extinction. Tragic. And we never even got to know them. Really.

Writing Dilemma - 1st or 3rd person

Though it wasn't always a simple decision whenever I started a story, I used to think I had it figured out.
It sort of came natural to get inside a character's mind and share the narrator's limited viewpoint. As a result I used to enjoy writing in 1st person. I still do.

However as I got to developing other characters and a more complex story, it no longer became a cut and dry decision. I tried to compromise by switching between viewpoints (splitting off on chapters) and a 3rd person voice to bridge the gaps.

Now in 2011, as I'm rewriting parts of the story, I'm contemplating if it is worth dropping off that 1st person cliff and using 3rd person for most, if not all of the stories. I'll greatly miss the 1st person voice, but the 3rd person voice may work out better in the long run. It's a trade off as with any decision.

When I am unsure of something , I turn to the web and do a search. I like to see what other people have to say on the same matter. This posting helped push me over that cliff.

That said, I'm trying it out. I've conducted a few trial stories using 3rd person limited to a character or a couple of characters. I've done it before, various years. So far the results have been pleasing with most attempts. It may not be much of a loss to make the switch from 1st to 3rd person narration. I'll see.


So far I notice these differences with my own writing:

1st person: easy to get into the thoughts of a character. I can write what the character is thinking. What the character is feeling, not so much. I can write what the character thinks he or she is feeling. Things like body language tend to get dropped off. It's hard to see what the narrating character is doing when they are talking or thinking. At least I find it harder. The narrator becomes an "existence". At least that is my best attempt at describing the experience of living as a sentient being taking in all the outside stimuli and making sense out of my environment.

3rd person: Body language of the character becomes much easier to describe. What the character is feeling also becomes easier to describe. It is easier to break through situations where the character doesn't know what they are feeling or think they feel one way but really feel another. (unless the character's internal confusion is something I want to play off, then that effect seems to get lost easier than in 1st person) But getting into the thoughts of the character seem to be trickier. I can do it, but it feels more distant and doesn't make as much sense. But this distance may not be a bad thing. Just takes getting used to. Limiting to one character at a time helps to keep some mystery about other characters as well as the whole plot (something that is nice with 1st person). I also get the "existance" without having to be involved in the story (so to speak).

I'm interested to see what your viewpoints are on 1st and 3rd person narrated stories? Which do you prefer to read?

A moment of wondering

Sometimes dreams die hard. I'm in a pensive mood right now. I've been working on a story since probably about 1995. It's grown through leaps and bounds as I've grown up and revised it. A single story developed into a whole series. I dream of making something out of it, but... The opportunities are just not there. I wonder if I should keep on hoping I'll find an agent for it and get some of the work published...or if I should just make a blog and publish it free on the internet? The latter would make sure that people get a chance to read the story, but it also means the end of my dream of seeing it in a published book form. I'm coming to the terms my story may never be popular enough for the mainstream to enjoy. After all, insect like creatures are a hard sell... It would take a very small percentage of the population to enjoy.



No matter what, one thing is for certain is that I can't stop writing it. I've grown attached to the characters and enjoy working on their struggles. I entertain myself by writing in a simple MS word (now Open office) document. Occasionally I sketch and paint out rough illustrations.

2011

A new year. First month almost over in a day. Darn. Where did all that time go? Anyways I am trying to get back into writing as I haven't really had time to take pictures this winter. Dusting off my old rough drafts from 2007/2008. It's amazing what I find. I think I was a better writer then...but then again there are also things needing revision. Some revision needs are huge and others are just plain annoying little awkward errors.

For those just tuning into my blog or stumbling upon it, I write stories about insect people. These guys aren't the creepy icky looking things you find outside. They are people with insect-like features, without the creepy mandibles. One of those great things that bothered me was what I called the older workers taking care of the children in the colony. I called them "Caregivers" but I feel "Guide" is more suited to their role.

Interestingly when I started writing this whole thing (back in 6th and 7th grade, wow!) I used to call them "Guides". Now I am going back. There are other things to sort out, but I'll take those things as I come to them. Most notably their history, and other things I rather not spoil by saying here. If you stumble upon samples in my blog that show inconsistency, that is probably why. I plan to go back and change the story samples on my blog (Artwork and writing), but it may be a while yet. My priorities are working on the actual rough drafts.

This guy looks like he can answer just about any question you may have about ant folk....


Or maybe not. LOL.

Jumping off a cliff - with microsoft

I need a new computer. It goes so slow, doesn't do HD video streaming well. Not to mention the hard drive is making unusual noises. I've been putting up with a compaq presario, from like since 2003. I've seen enough screen shots and heard enough of windows vista that I know to stay clear...I'm not sure windows 7 is much better. My software is out of date. My keyboard(s) are shot. The mouse still works okay,though takes up a usb port. The next best thing, I figured is to go ahead and make the switchover to a mac.

Now that I ordered one,I anxiously wait and prepare to rebuild my system and get the software I need. it may take a while. I don't do credit cards or charge if I can avoid it. I buy big things by saving my money and not spending it all on little things like ordering lunch every day. Bag lunches are cheaper. Having no car is a pain, but that also means no gas to pay for and no insurance to have to pay on it either. If all goes to plan,and no unplanned events/expenses occur, I shall be able to buy photoshop CS in another month or two.

There are some things I will miss. Petz used to be one of my favorite games and time wasting projects. I haven't played it in years, so I doubt I'll miss it any more than I do now. Some other games will be lost, but then again I probably could still find mac versions of those old games that are even better(bugdom.)If not, then it isn't really a big deal. After all the main thing I want it for is to operate photoshop (CS5) and whatever else I wish to do with my art and photography.