My rant for the day... I was waiting to be picked up by the cab from my Psychiatrist appointment. I didn't feel like sitting down, so I paced around the main entrance of the building. Since I was standing/pacing near the door I felt the impulse to be nice and open the doors for a few people. I figured why not; that it would be rude for me to just stand there in the doorway doing nothing.
Each time was an epic fail. They either opened the next door, ignored me, or looked at me like I was a complete idiot. None of them said thanks. Okay the last one did when I offered to open the door, but turned me down. I left the moment feeling really let down. Yeah I expected to be thanked in some way. It reassures me that I am doing the right thing and it encourages me to continue. If I don't get that verbal feedback, then I feel a bit like what I'm doing must be utterly pointless. Or is it an autistic moment cropping it's ugly head?
Maybe I'm getting something wrong... Okay I guess it's time to do a nerdy google search for social stories and see if there happens to be any "do and "don'ts" to opening doors for people in public buildings. Though right now I don't feel up to it. I just won't open any more doors for people in that same building again. Problem solved.
Showing posts with label rude people. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rude people. Show all posts
Monday, January 11, 2010
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Why is 'acceptance' such a bad word?
This is something I need help understanding: Why is acceptance such a bad word? I don’t care if someone is pro cure or anti cure. Acceptance is something worth striving for.This was a reply I got on a forum:
“Oh what a great suggestion! Parents listen up. Just accept that your kids stomach will hurt,and that the child will become difficient due to lost nutriens from loose stool. Embrace those seizures, dont try to change them.If they child should headbang try giving him some music to bang to. I particularly like VanHalen, ZZ top. Good headbangin music. If they smear why not try putting it in an art gallery? When the child screams and arches back for heavens sake measure it and keep track, we are bound to be able to get one of them in the guinis book of world records!”
When I mean acceptance I never meant to “accept” head banging (self injurous behavior that this person put rather rudely), stomach upsets, diarrhea, seizures, poop smearing an the like. No this person completely missed my point.When I talked about acceptance I was talking about making changes and being more tolerant of a society. What do I mean by tolerance?
I mean let’s stop looking at people and treating them like they are freaks, flawed, unpeople, and worth being bullied, rather than helped. I’m talking about how one autistic person put it about there being a lot more “kickers” than “nurturers”
What is wrong with striving to make society bully free? Okay I understand we can’t eliminate every rude person in the world, but why not join the fight and strive for taking down the bullies in each of our lives, by teaching them acceptance by example.
I found it ironic when I went on a forum and read about a sad parent who is asking if it is okay to put their child on an antidepressant. The kid was being bullied! Putting the kid on antidepressants isn’t going to help the greater problem. That is like kicking someone when they are already down just because they are a victim.
Why is it when it comes to bully vs. victim, the victim is the one who is forced to “cured” or “changed” when really it is the bully that needs to be “cured” or “changed” Why should the bully get off Scott free? What message does that teach us as human beings?
And about employment: We’ve heard about autistic teenagers and adults being unfairly passed up for opportunities and fired for no reason at all. Why can’t we strive to change this? I hear a voice whispering in my head, “It doesn’t have to be this way. Things can be better.” But in order to do so we need an open mind and a willing heart.
Even if you as a parent disagree with me, can we agree on this? You don’t have to take your child off their diet, and you don’t have to stop such controversial treatments like chelation therapy. You can still support what agencies you see fit and still advocate acceptance.
I hope this makes things easier to understand. I don’t like people twisting my words to mean things I’m not saying. I feel very close to giving up, but I know that is my self pity speaking. It's just so hard to "just turn off" emotions at my whim. I wish I had that power, but alas I am a human, not a robot. Although times like these it would be nice to just become a robot and not have to contend with human emotions.
“Oh what a great suggestion! Parents listen up. Just accept that your kids stomach will hurt,and that the child will become difficient due to lost nutriens from loose stool. Embrace those seizures, dont try to change them.If they child should headbang try giving him some music to bang to. I particularly like VanHalen, ZZ top. Good headbangin music. If they smear why not try putting it in an art gallery? When the child screams and arches back for heavens sake measure it and keep track, we are bound to be able to get one of them in the guinis book of world records!”
When I mean acceptance I never meant to “accept” head banging (self injurous behavior that this person put rather rudely), stomach upsets, diarrhea, seizures, poop smearing an the like. No this person completely missed my point.When I talked about acceptance I was talking about making changes and being more tolerant of a society. What do I mean by tolerance?
I mean let’s stop looking at people and treating them like they are freaks, flawed, unpeople, and worth being bullied, rather than helped. I’m talking about how one autistic person put it about there being a lot more “kickers” than “nurturers”
What is wrong with striving to make society bully free? Okay I understand we can’t eliminate every rude person in the world, but why not join the fight and strive for taking down the bullies in each of our lives, by teaching them acceptance by example.
I found it ironic when I went on a forum and read about a sad parent who is asking if it is okay to put their child on an antidepressant. The kid was being bullied! Putting the kid on antidepressants isn’t going to help the greater problem. That is like kicking someone when they are already down just because they are a victim.
Why is it when it comes to bully vs. victim, the victim is the one who is forced to “cured” or “changed” when really it is the bully that needs to be “cured” or “changed” Why should the bully get off Scott free? What message does that teach us as human beings?
And about employment: We’ve heard about autistic teenagers and adults being unfairly passed up for opportunities and fired for no reason at all. Why can’t we strive to change this? I hear a voice whispering in my head, “It doesn’t have to be this way. Things can be better.” But in order to do so we need an open mind and a willing heart.
Even if you as a parent disagree with me, can we agree on this? You don’t have to take your child off their diet, and you don’t have to stop such controversial treatments like chelation therapy. You can still support what agencies you see fit and still advocate acceptance.
I hope this makes things easier to understand. I don’t like people twisting my words to mean things I’m not saying. I feel very close to giving up, but I know that is my self pity speaking. It's just so hard to "just turn off" emotions at my whim. I wish I had that power, but alas I am a human, not a robot. Although times like these it would be nice to just become a robot and not have to contend with human emotions.
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