My rant for the day... I was waiting to be picked up by the cab from my Psychiatrist appointment. I didn't feel like sitting down, so I paced around the main entrance of the building. Since I was standing/pacing near the door I felt the impulse to be nice and open the doors for a few people. I figured why not; that it would be rude for me to just stand there in the doorway doing nothing.
Each time was an epic fail. They either opened the next door, ignored me, or looked at me like I was a complete idiot. None of them said thanks. Okay the last one did when I offered to open the door, but turned me down. I left the moment feeling really let down. Yeah I expected to be thanked in some way. It reassures me that I am doing the right thing and it encourages me to continue. If I don't get that verbal feedback, then I feel a bit like what I'm doing must be utterly pointless. Or is it an autistic moment cropping it's ugly head?
Maybe I'm getting something wrong... Okay I guess it's time to do a nerdy google search for social stories and see if there happens to be any "do and "don'ts" to opening doors for people in public buildings. Though right now I don't feel up to it. I just won't open any more doors for people in that same building again. Problem solved.
2 comments:
It is a nice thing to do.
There are many types of people. The mechanical robot human thinks - "Let us go in." and ignore you because they think you are another robot opening the door.
They opened the next door - because either you did not leave enough place for them to pass, assuming you did, than maybe they were frightened of you for some reason. Another reason - maybe they were too shy.
Some looked at you as if you were a complete idiot - because maybe they were idiots themselves.
And most did not say thanks - because they were in a hurry or their parents did not teach them to say thanks for acts of gratitude.
The last one turned you down saying thanks was a good person. That person was a human being. He turned down thinking it was too much of an effort to see you opening the door.
Nothing is wrong. Different people think differently.
Yeah, just don't open doors. God has given people hands to do it. Those who don't have hands can use their legs. Let everyone exercise a bit.
The last person was the politest, I agree. She probably saw I was quite stressed. That place probably wasn't the right setting. I think I'll just keep it to those pushing heavy strollers or struggling to get in.
With people using wheel chairs it can be a touchy subject. Some want the independence and don't like feeling helpless. I ran into one person like that some years ago. I respected her decision and let her open the door herself, even if it was a struggle. Someone else later opened it for her. But at least I did what I felt was right at the time.
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