Tuesday, September 4, 2012

A Dream I had some time ago

Okay I was skimming over some comments I had on my blog. One was to share more dreams. Agreed, I need to get back into writing my dreams.  But I get too busy. The dreams I had get forgotten in the daily mess of stuff I get involved with. Work. Eat. Chores. Hobbies. Time wasters like surfing the net.

One dream that stands out to me right now, came after a day of just feeling stressed and beaten down.  I  felt kind of lost. Quite a bit lost.  What had me down I don't remember. Just the sensation.

I was climbing up a steep hill. The sky hazy with thin wispy clouds. Vines and and all kinds of plant life loomed over me. Blocked my view.  Some were thorny. If anything I felt confused. What was I doing on this hill? What brought me there? Walking around in circles, I tried to make sense of the scene around me. Rolls of fog set in.

  Finally at the point of frustration, I couldn't take the climb any longer. The vines were too thick. There was no view of the other side. Or any sign of anyone out there.  Feeling hopeless, I cried something like, "Where am I?" and wondering who am I at the same time. Why am I here? What am I doing? What brought me here? Could have easily gone through my mind at the same time.

 I'm not really a believer of guides or spirit animals in my dreams. They never really appear when I want. It seems once in a year or more if I get anything that could be remotely interpreted such a way. Knowing this, I was well assured, this struggle I'd have to figure out on my own. With a sense of dread, I prepared to be stuck in another BSoD type of dream. (a dream that seems to be just like the computer error). Such an example would be like the repeating stairway type dream I get where I can climb up or down all I want, but never find the door.  Or get trapped in a building with endless hallways and no exit. This hill too could easily turn into such a dream.  Never getting past the circles I made, seeing the same stuff over and over...

Eventually I collapsed on all fours and sat down. So tired, and lost, there wasn't much I could do. I had given up whatever I was trying to do. Then, out of nowhere, A wolf appeared. Her shadow visible behind the vines and trees. A pack followed behind her. I couldn't see them in the fog, but I could sense their presence. Normal people would likely start to feel afraid. Very afraid. Like sort of doomed, right now. I think? I mean carnivorous animal coming in for a kill against a poor defenseless person, right? Right? I guess not this time. I didn't even flinch. It was as if I saw a person. Someone harmless. Someone who could help me. Someone who seemed to have wisdom beyond time.

A voice. A strong female voice in my head whispered softly, "We are here." Instinctively I knew the wolves were watching me. The voice was her, the alpha one, speaking telepathically.

I felt comforted, oddly.  I seemed to have known her before. Her pack seemed familiar. Had I met this wolf in a past dream? My mind goes back to a scene where I was made into a small child. (Someone other than myself.) The child, less than 5 years old got lost in a snow covered forest. A wolf appeared and laid down in front of me. She. That wolf? Her body kept me warm, saving me from the frost that night. When I woke up in the dream, the wolf was gone. I wasted the rest of the dream trying to find her and follow any tracks I could find.

There was another dream where I was sitting on top of the alpha wolf. I couldn't remember if they were leading me or I was leading them.  But we were trudging through deep snow and struggling through a blizzard. At the end of the struggle, we made it to see one of the most awesome dream scenes I can remember. Gigantic mountains, beyond any realistic proportions.  I can still remember them vividly. Were those the same wolves?

 I listened and waited for the wolves to howl.  They did. Somehow I didn't feel as alone as I did before.

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