This is something I need help understanding: Why is acceptance such a bad word? I don’t care if someone is pro cure or anti cure. Acceptance is something worth striving for.This was a reply I got on a forum:
“Oh what a great suggestion! Parents listen up. Just accept that your kids stomach will hurt,and that the child will become difficient due to lost nutriens from loose stool. Embrace those seizures, dont try to change them.If they child should headbang try giving him some music to bang to. I particularly like VanHalen, ZZ top. Good headbangin music. If they smear why not try putting it in an art gallery? When the child screams and arches back for heavens sake measure it and keep track, we are bound to be able to get one of them in the guinis book of world records!”
When I mean acceptance I never meant to “accept” head banging (self injurous behavior that this person put rather rudely), stomach upsets, diarrhea, seizures, poop smearing an the like. No this person completely missed my point.When I talked about acceptance I was talking about making changes and being more tolerant of a society. What do I mean by tolerance?
I mean let’s stop looking at people and treating them like they are freaks, flawed, unpeople, and worth being bullied, rather than helped. I’m talking about how one autistic person put it about there being a lot more “kickers” than “nurturers”
What is wrong with striving to make society bully free? Okay I understand we can’t eliminate every rude person in the world, but why not join the fight and strive for taking down the bullies in each of our lives, by teaching them acceptance by example.
I found it ironic when I went on a forum and read about a sad parent who is asking if it is okay to put their child on an antidepressant. The kid was being bullied! Putting the kid on antidepressants isn’t going to help the greater problem. That is like kicking someone when they are already down just because they are a victim.
Why is it when it comes to bully vs. victim, the victim is the one who is forced to “cured” or “changed” when really it is the bully that needs to be “cured” or “changed” Why should the bully get off Scott free? What message does that teach us as human beings?
And about employment: We’ve heard about autistic teenagers and adults being unfairly passed up for opportunities and fired for no reason at all. Why can’t we strive to change this? I hear a voice whispering in my head, “It doesn’t have to be this way. Things can be better.” But in order to do so we need an open mind and a willing heart.
Even if you as a parent disagree with me, can we agree on this? You don’t have to take your child off their diet, and you don’t have to stop such controversial treatments like chelation therapy. You can still support what agencies you see fit and still advocate acceptance.
I hope this makes things easier to understand. I don’t like people twisting my words to mean things I’m not saying. I feel very close to giving up, but I know that is my self pity speaking. It's just so hard to "just turn off" emotions at my whim. I wish I had that power, but alas I am a human, not a robot. Although times like these it would be nice to just become a robot and not have to contend with human emotions.
Showing posts with label anti cure. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anti cure. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Monday, April 14, 2008
Discussions about Cure vs. Not Cure Autism
Someone on Autism Speaks asked a question to someone about what things would they like cured about autism and what things would they like to be kept intact. Although the question wasn't pointed at me I wanted to take a stab at answering. This was my reply:
Strengths of autism I wish to be preserved:
- Value for honesty. Many autistic people either cannot lie, or suffer a guilty conscience if attempting to lie. If I do lie, it is usually unintentional and I am quick to fess up. I HATE dishonesty with a passion. I also feel the need that everyone else needs to be honest as well even if the truth brutally hurts. "The truth shall set you free" is something I've heard along with, "The truth will always be found out." It makes no point to lie.
- Value for details and integrity: I am glad I spotted the fly pupae in the ketch-up dispenser at Mc D's. They were maggots earlier that week. No one bothered to clean the container, except for me. I didn't care how much ketch-up I had to dump out at my shift. My concern was for the health of the customers. I dismantled that thing and washed it thoroughly so no old residue remained. As far as I know I may have been the only person who bothered. Since I worked only once or twice a week, most of the week it got neglected and smelled rancid.
- Willingness to stand up for what is right regardless of whatever everyone else is doing. Since we are not popular to begin with and nor do we strive to be popular, it comes much easier to go against the grain to do what is REALLY right.
- Persistence to do in depth research on a subject. Very few people have the patience to research just about everything they can find on a particular subject to become a master at it. If an autistic person can "switch" obsessions from time to time like I do, then I get to learn a lot of stuff and use it to help me understand people and things.
- Some autistics have strong visual abilities. Temple Grandin is one. She could get down and see things as a cow would. That gave her a unique perspective to spot things other people wouldn't. Most people would be afraid to get down on all 4's as an adult in plain view of other people. This didn't bother her. I too have visual abilities, but I am young and still trying to find my niche so I can use them.
And any I didn't list.
---Things I'd like to see gone or reduced. "Cured" if you must.
- Inability to communicate. I honestly believe if one can help break this barrier, than a lot of the head banging, butting, biting, hair pulling, lashing out, and you name it will subside and be something that only happens rarely.I've found stating I am anxious or overwhelmed before really feeling it seems to help prevent a meltdown from occurring.
- Fecal smearing. See if they can be given something else to use for "art" and work on developing some kind of talent, or give them other things to manipulate with their hands.
- Potty training. I'd like to see autistics who struggle with this become aware of when they need to go before it is too late. If there's any thing wrong with the toilet, how it flushes, the "feel" of the toilet seat, or anything else bothering the autistic person, I'd like them to be able to communicate this and work out a solution.
- sleeping issues. That's a toughie I could never resolve, but at least I can be quiet at night (as an adult). I think a lot of it for younger kids is things like nightmares and sleep paralysis. Both are very normal, but with an inability to communicate, they can't express this being the cause of their nighttime freak-outs.
Strengths of autism I wish to be preserved:
- Value for honesty. Many autistic people either cannot lie, or suffer a guilty conscience if attempting to lie. If I do lie, it is usually unintentional and I am quick to fess up. I HATE dishonesty with a passion. I also feel the need that everyone else needs to be honest as well even if the truth brutally hurts. "The truth shall set you free" is something I've heard along with, "The truth will always be found out." It makes no point to lie.
- Value for details and integrity: I am glad I spotted the fly pupae in the ketch-up dispenser at Mc D's. They were maggots earlier that week. No one bothered to clean the container, except for me. I didn't care how much ketch-up I had to dump out at my shift. My concern was for the health of the customers. I dismantled that thing and washed it thoroughly so no old residue remained. As far as I know I may have been the only person who bothered. Since I worked only once or twice a week, most of the week it got neglected and smelled rancid.
- Willingness to stand up for what is right regardless of whatever everyone else is doing. Since we are not popular to begin with and nor do we strive to be popular, it comes much easier to go against the grain to do what is REALLY right.
- Persistence to do in depth research on a subject. Very few people have the patience to research just about everything they can find on a particular subject to become a master at it. If an autistic person can "switch" obsessions from time to time like I do, then I get to learn a lot of stuff and use it to help me understand people and things.
- Some autistics have strong visual abilities. Temple Grandin is one. She could get down and see things as a cow would. That gave her a unique perspective to spot things other people wouldn't. Most people would be afraid to get down on all 4's as an adult in plain view of other people. This didn't bother her. I too have visual abilities, but I am young and still trying to find my niche so I can use them.
And any I didn't list.
---Things I'd like to see gone or reduced. "Cured" if you must.
- Inability to communicate. I honestly believe if one can help break this barrier, than a lot of the head banging, butting, biting, hair pulling, lashing out, and you name it will subside and be something that only happens rarely.I've found stating I am anxious or overwhelmed before really feeling it seems to help prevent a meltdown from occurring.
- Fecal smearing. See if they can be given something else to use for "art" and work on developing some kind of talent, or give them other things to manipulate with their hands.
- Potty training. I'd like to see autistics who struggle with this become aware of when they need to go before it is too late. If there's any thing wrong with the toilet, how it flushes, the "feel" of the toilet seat, or anything else bothering the autistic person, I'd like them to be able to communicate this and work out a solution.
- sleeping issues. That's a toughie I could never resolve, but at least I can be quiet at night (as an adult). I think a lot of it for younger kids is things like nightmares and sleep paralysis. Both are very normal, but with an inability to communicate, they can't express this being the cause of their nighttime freak-outs.
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