Think carefully each time you hit the reply button. Each post puts out a message. You are in control of what message you put out to the world. Will your message be a positive message of hope or a negative one?
This message came to my mind upon reading several gloomy posts on a forum. In the process of trying to figure out who is right, people seem to forget what the most important reason behind the forum is; That is to show kindness and support those who are parents of autistic children. Some of these parents are new. Their kids may be newly diagnosed. They don't need to hear comments about people wishing to have measles and deafness over autism (in response to the MMR shot). They don't need to hear remarks like people living as permanently brain damaged and never able to make it in an NT society. These parents feel bad enough from the news they got. There's no shortage of "Doom and Gloom." There's plenty to find on Google.
What these parents need are stories of hope. They need to know that their children can make it in this world. They need to know their children are not some sickly weak diseased thing. They need to know that they are not handling delicate butterfly wings. Even butterflies are tough.
If you're going to think of your autistic child as a butterfly, think of them as a monarch. These are hardy butterflies even though they look so frail. They face several hardships every fall when they migrate from as far north as Canada to Mexico, but somehow they do every year.
Life as an autistic person isn't the easiest, but then again is any life easy? No matter who you are, you're going to have your own challenges to face. Why not embrace your child's autism and help their strengths shine. Do what you can to help your child overcome their challenges. Remember that no matter what, this journey is one that must be done by the individual. The best treatment one can do is install confidence in their child. What's the best way to teach confidence? Example.
Show your child you are not afraid. Show your child you are not disappointed you didn't get what you originally thought would be the "perfect" child. Show your child you are proud of them and their autism. Show your child that you love them. You love their autism because it is part of your child. Please don't compare your autistic child with any non autistic child saying I wish this or that, or comment this person is slower than a non autistic child. Think about this. Even the most nonverbal autie can understand the feeling of being rejected or inferior. This may sound like much to ask, but believe me it helped when my parents took a positive attitude.
Help your child think of his/her autism not as a disease needing to be overcome, but as part of who s/he is and part of what makes him/her a stronger person. With that attitude one can accomplish just about anything they set their mind to. Even the best bio-med or treatment or therapy will fail if this is not done. So rather than worry about whether one is missing out on x therapy, think of the monarch butterfly that makes it all the way to Mexico. Your child is a tough one. All your child needs is a positive attitude and the desire to make his/her dreams come true.
Let your message be one of hope. In the end it doesn't matter who is right. You can't go wrong with a positive approach and a desire to change the world in a good way.
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