Who I Am

I'm taking part in some kind of series called Believe it or Not You Rock! offered at our local independent living center. Lately I've been trying to take advantage of more of these activities to gain more skills outside the computer realm.

For the first assignment we are supposed to answer the question, "Who do I claim to be?"

It's a question I've asked over and over in my head, Who are you MJI? I could think about being a human being, my religion, age, my gender, my accomplishments and my autism. All those may be pretty good answers but they still don't quite define who I am. They tell what I am.

So who am I really? I am a writer. It is not just a hobby for me. It's a way of thinking. Being a writer affects the way I perceive things. Any new thing I learn can be used in something I write down the line. I've always been curious about the world around me. I remember vaguely when I learned to ask who, what, when, why and how?

"Why" turned out to be one of my favorites. I found if I kept asking why I could learn lots of things. Asked too much eventually I'd get, "I don't know" for an answer. This frustrated me as a kid. I'd ask people why they didn't know and they would just keep answering with the same question... Going in a circle like that didn't give me what I wanted to know.

How does all this tie into writing? In order to write, one has to be able to have a good grasp and understand their ideas. The more I take in, the more tools I have to build things in my head.

I think like a writer. I am almost constantly lost in thought about something, speaking softly in my head as if I am giving a speech. I edit and revise scenes in my head. If I get the chance, I write them down. Most of the time the essays I think in my head never get written. They stay locked in my head ready to be released when a thought triggers them.

I could also say I am a detailed thinker. Obviously I wouldn't have chosen to name my blog this way if I wasn't focused on details. To me it comes natural. I glance at a wall and I may notice a brightly colored butterfly wing left from a butterfly who fluttered into a building. How did the butterfly get there? I don't know. It could be simple or it could be complex. As a writer I have the freedom to make a story up if I want to.

Flash back to a time when I was looking at the back of a truck with a trailer. It was covered in dust and dirt. Someone had smeared it clean with a smiley face and "Have a nice day."
As a writer and a detailed thinker, I notice this little detail. My mind plays it in my head like a movie. The truck unloads its stuff and a guy later writes the message, likely smiles and speaks to the driver, "Have a nice day."

Another day I noticed a little toad climbing around a moving car in the city. How it got there I don't know, but it sure was fun imagining the toad was on an adventure of some sort. If I wanted to develop that further I can.

I have my imagination and it's my best tool. With it I can go anywhere. It is how I get by from day to day. My imagination helps me understand people. Each person I interact with becomes their own character. If they do something funny I sometimes remark, "Keep it up and you will be writing material."

If I were to go back in time, ever since I was about 5 or 6 I've been using my imagination and writing stories in my head. I continue to this day doing what I always did, imagining and writing. Some day I hope to write more than just a hobby.