Forgiveness

I’ve been feeling down for a few days this last week, but you know what? I decided I’m not going to let it bother me anymore. Those people don't know me. They may think they do. But why should that matter? I forgive those who said hurtful things against me. We all have bad days once and a while. Sometimes we have bad weeks. Why should I hold a grudge against anyone for being human once and a while? I believe that God is far stronger than that.

So I let go and I move on. Life is too short to dwell in the past. Life is too short to dwell on the negative things. Life is too short to hold grudges. So today and I hope any day after I will focus on being a good person and helping others, regardless of what happens. After all, kindness is worth its weight in gold. My only hope is to all that read this message that they take to heart and do the same.

It is my desire to leave this world a better place than when I came. Even if it is just a few people in the end that my actions made a difference, it is well worth the effort. If everyone kept this as their goal, maybe just maybe we can make this world a better place together!

Quotes from another Autistic Person: Adrienne

I was browsing through a friend's profile on Autism Speaks. I really enjoyed the quotes she made up. I found them very inspiring. You can check her out right here. (but you have to ceate an account in order to see.)

Here is some info on Adrienne (copied from her profile for those who don't have an Autism Speaks Ning account) :
Heylo, My name is Adrienne, and I'm diagnosed Classic Autism, doctors say moderate functioning, I still say moderate-high functioning fits me the best. I think half the time im moderate-low functioning and the other half im much more higher functioning. I'm 50% verbal, I do rely on PECS(picture exchange communication system) and Sign Language to help me communicate, but I can speak, sometimes surprisingly well, even times I can hold a conversation with ya, other times its mostly babbling, echolalia, one worders or just little noises. I also have tourettes, which thankfully is more mild then my autism, my biggest and most challenging tic is shrugging my shoulders, my most noticable tic is my facial jerks. I also have been having siezures, but they aren't properly diagnosed yet. Along with that, I have arthritis, cold utercaria(allergy to the cold, i get hives everywhere, can pass out and die), reynods syndrome(another skin related condition), asthma, and other things i probably can't remember at the moment.
I do have a boyfriend, Jim, we've been dating for awhile, on February 19, 2009 makes 3 years. Hes neurotypical besides having OCD about his car, theres nothing out of the ordinary about him except hes dating an autie lol. Hes had many many many people tell him hes stupid for dating me, because how disabled I am, but hes stuck with me through thick and thin. A lot of people don't even believe I can have a boyfriend or believe he is dating an classic autistic chica. We love to prove people wrong hehehe :P!
My autism doesn't define who I am, theres times I'm like screw autism, I'm doing what I want haha, those are rare times lol. Its defintely a huge part of me. I believe I am autistic, and have autism, autism stops me from doing so much, but being autistic is what makes me stronger as a person :). I can drive, which a lot of people don't think its possible, it defintely is possible, I'm a really good driver. I also ride jet skis, and boat. I can even do amazing tricks on the jet skis.
I volunteer everywhere... childrens specialized hospital, harbor house, interfaith hospitality, cattus island, big sisters/big brothers, and even use to do pet therapy with my greyhound and took her to nursing homes. As I mentioned, I'm apart of big sisters/big brothers, my little is 13yrs old and has pddnos(in case anybody was wondering why it also says know other person with autism). I help run the autism carnival every year with childrens specialized hospital. I also am going to college through the DRC(disability resource center) and training to be a sign language interpreter. My goal is to teach nonverbal autistics, deaf/hearing impaired children, or just children with language differculties sign language to ease up their frustration.
I wanted to add the best bit of advice I can give anybody is..... Follow your dreams, don't let anything stop you. Don't ever give up, no matter how bumpy or hard the road is ahead. Doctors are not psychics, so they can not tell you how your child will grow up, so believe in your child rather then the diagnosis given to that child. Despite what label society gives to you, you have the ability to do anything if you put your mind to it and don't let anybody tell you different!

With permission I'm reposting her quotes:

For those who learn to accept are those who achieve much more in life and are those who teach us the greatest lesson in all of humanity!

The best gift in life is that, thats handed to you, not thats bought!

Pain is not suffering, pain is a lesson to be learnt, and to grow from.

You either dodge the bullet, or let it pierce you, life is all about choice.

You never know how being a friend can save somebodys life in the end

You can do anything if you let you open your heart and show the world how amazing you are.
Even in the ugliest situation, you can find beauty within.

The littlest things that seem so small to you, can be so big in somebody elses eyes, even if its just a friendly gesture like how are you feeling, although small short sentence, can have a huge impact on a persons life, its always better to give then recieve.

Don't be the wave in that big ocean that follows everybody else because eventually you will be knocked up on shore and gone before you know it, instead be that fish that swims over those huge waves, and lives life to the fulliest

"You can not push that small, tiny, caterpillar to metamorphosis to that beautiful, magnificent, butterfly. Only it, will know when its ready to give up its younger life. To take its journey into this big world will be hard to overcome; however, when its ready to take that giant leap, it'll let its dreams soar and fly"

It only takes one person to ruin somebodys day but it also takes another person to brighten up that persons day again:-P.. Make somebody happy, show them a smile, say hello or even compliment them, you never know how u can change this world till you actually try

Every ending always means theirs a new beginning right around the corner all you got to do is open your eyes.. "Wherever there is a finish you will most definitely find a start

A Little Bit of Kindness Goes A Long Way

We may not always agree with each other on some things. Sometimes we say hurtful things to each other. The important part is that we learn to forgive, make peace and learn from our mistakes. After all no one person is perfect.

Sometimes we to be reminded of this fact of being human. Sometimes the reminders sting and burn our hearts. But the wise person will take the lessons to heart, not as pain, but as a challenge they can work though to become a better person.

If you see someone who is hurting right now, don’t judge them based on what words they say. After all it is the pain speaking, not the person inside. I believe people are good at heart. Sometimes pain and anger can cause us to see things we wouldn’t normally see. Sometimes it clouds our judgment and makes us bitter.

What does one do when they come across someone who seems to be lashing out in pain? Show them kindness, even if your own personal feelings may not agree. After all kindness is a strength that few possess. If you can show kindness to someone who has been mean, not only does that show your character, but who knows, maybe your kindness may help someone in need in ways that you never would have known. Maybe, just maybe you saved a life without realizing it.

Just a heads up

One of these days I'm thinking of changing the appearance of my blog... I'd like to see if it's possible to add some of my artwork as the background, which means I have to create some artwork...

When that change occurs depends on how motivated I am to get started. For those who like consistency, I felt like it is worth giving you the warning before I start messing around with my blog. That's a big if I can pull it off... I'm not savvy with CSS/html, but I'm sure I can find tutorials to tweak with....

Autism Everyday and My Response to the Editors

This is the exact leter I sent to Autism Speaks upon viewing their 13min internet version of Autism Everyday. They claim to speak for autism and the autism community... Well I am Autistic and I am Speaking. Now are they gonna let me speak? If they don't put my letter up as part of the feedback, hmmmm....yeah... I feel a bit slighted...

I like it when the parents talk about not giving up and working with their children. I believe that kind of persistence and determination will go a lot further than anything else. As an autistic individual (diagnosed PDD NOS at age 6) I believe there is a lot of self will it takes as well as support from the parents. It helps to have a high self esteem and a positive outlook for both the child and parent. But I'm glad my parents took a different approach. Rather than working against my autism, they worked with it and helped get me connected with other individuals with autism that have a positive viewpoint. That positive viewpoint helped get me through Jr. High and high school and make the honor roll. It's important for the autistic children as well as the parents to know they are not alone. Autistic people may not always show their emotions, but you can be sure they feel the same emotions any other human does.

As far as the rest of the video. I see comments about why is my child melting down? I too had meltdowns like some of those. If you really want to know ask me. I may not be able to say exactly why your kid is melting down, but I may be able to help explain what triggered meltdowns with me. There may be some things in common. I'm willing to help share my piece of the puzzle. Some of the meltdowns were anxiety based. For instance if I couldn't find x item, and I felt like I'd be late, that would stress me out. It also helped to have some item to carry with me. (Usually as an adult I take my sketchbook with my drawings and some paintings. As a kid, it was often a bug I caught outside that would be a comfort item.) Shopping trips: My mom liked to shop at various places and run several errands in one day. Some of the stops were good, but others were boring. If I was being taken to a place I didn't like, I dug my heels in... Going to a place I like…chances are I behaved much better… I also sort of had a “what’s in it for me” attitude. If I was going on a long trip I wanted to come home with a “one thing”. If I had that incentive I behaved much better. I also don't like just spontaneously disrupting whatever I was doing and going places. I like to know ahead of time where I am going and for how long. Imagine you’re in the middle of a game (a "boss" level), full concentration and no chance to pause it. Suddenly you’re expected to just drop everything and go… Leaving something I am highly concentrated on, unfinished to me feels like leaving the house with the lights on, doors wide open, and the faucets running. It doesn’t feel natural. I like to be warned ahead of time and know when to find a good stopping point with whatever I am doing.

Other meltdowns were tactile. I didn't like my arm being held onto. If my parents tried to hold my wrist, I'd try to break free. Eventually we worked out some kind of agreement. "I won't hold your wrist if you don't wander." I think it helped. I still got distracted at times, but I knew not to bolt out into the street without looking for cars. I had an autistic-like step grandpa who taught me that behavior and insisted upon it every time before crossing a street.

Coping with meltdowns: I'm learning to spot my triggers and cut them off at the pass. If I feel my anxiety level rising and I'm in an argument, it's time for me to back off and come back later when calmer. In the mean time engage myself with a more favorable activity. If you're a parent and your kid is having a meltdown out of frustration, it's time for a break. See if you can direct the child to something they enjoy to cool down. Approach the task later. Don’t try to push on. It won't work.

Hopefully some of this helps. I want to see more of the positive ends of autism and more shown on the gifts along with the meltdowns. I'd like to see a more balanced view of all autism. Not just the poster children. It shows some autism, but just like some people criticize the autism advocates, this video doesn't reflect the full view of autism for everyone. Not every parent with a nonverbal 2-3 year old will have a nonverbal older child or adult. I didn’t start to speak until about age 4, but once I got to talking, they couldn’t shut me up. Now I’m highly verbal. Most people just from looking at me wouldn’t guess I am autistic. That goes to show there’s a lot more to PDD NOS and autism than what is shown. There needs to be more shown on both ends so autism is not viewed as something to be feared...


Sincerely,
MJI

I still exist

Though I haven't been blogging here lately I'm still thinking and have plenty to think about. I just haven't been writing down all the things that go through my mind.

I am working a part time work study job. So far it seems to be going okay. I work 4 hours a day for three days a week. Eventually my case mananger wants to up my hours.

I help out with sorting things for our local goodwill/easter seals company to put on their ebay like site. One of the main tasks I do is sorting jewelry. My detailed vision and ability to focus on fine details helps me to read the 925 stamps on the items to tell if they are real silver or have a gold value. I can read what value they are often without the need of a magnifying lens.

I don't know if that is a gift from being near sighted or autistic, but whatever it is it sure helps.

You Have the Power to Make a Difference With Just One Post

Think carefully each time you hit the reply button. Each post puts out a message. You are in control of what message you put out to the world. Will your message be a positive message of hope or a negative one?

This message came to my mind upon reading several gloomy posts on a forum. In the process of trying to figure out who is right, people seem to forget what the most important reason behind the forum is; That is to show kindness and support those who are parents of autistic children. Some of these parents are new. Their kids may be newly diagnosed. They don't need to hear comments about people wishing to have measles and deafness over autism (in response to the MMR shot). They don't need to hear remarks like people living as permanently brain damaged and never able to make it in an NT society. These parents feel bad enough from the news they got. There's no shortage of "Doom and Gloom." There's plenty to find on Google.

What these parents need are stories of hope. They need to know that their children can make it in this world. They need to know their children are not some sickly weak diseased thing. They need to know that they are not handling delicate butterfly wings. Even butterflies are tough.

If you're going to think of your autistic child as a butterfly, think of them as a monarch. These are hardy butterflies even though they look so frail. They face several hardships every fall when they migrate from as far north as Canada to Mexico, but somehow they do every year.

Life as an autistic person isn't the easiest, but then again is any life easy? No matter who you are, you're going to have your own challenges to face. Why not embrace your child's autism and help their strengths shine. Do what you can to help your child overcome their challenges. Remember that no matter what, this journey is one that must be done by the individual. The best treatment one can do is install confidence in their child. What's the best way to teach confidence? Example.

Show your child you are not afraid. Show your child you are not disappointed you didn't get what you originally thought would be the "perfect" child. Show your child you are proud of them and their autism. Show your child that you love them. You love their autism because it is part of your child. Please don't compare your autistic child with any non autistic child saying I wish this or that, or comment this person is slower than a non autistic child. Think about this. Even the most nonverbal autie can understand the feeling of being rejected or inferior. This may sound like much to ask, but believe me it helped when my parents took a positive attitude.

Help your child think of his/her autism not as a disease needing to be overcome, but as part of who s/he is and part of what makes him/her a stronger person. With that attitude one can accomplish just about anything they set their mind to. Even the best bio-med or treatment or therapy will fail if this is not done. So rather than worry about whether one is missing out on x therapy, think of the monarch butterfly that makes it all the way to Mexico. Your child is a tough one. All your child needs is a positive attitude and the desire to make his/her dreams come true.

Let your message be one of hope. In the end it doesn't matter who is right. You can't go wrong with a positive approach and a desire to change the world in a good way.